Cramming It All In

Anthony Rudine -- Exhausting. Exhausted. Trying to stay afloat. That would pretty much sum up the past week for me. Just terrible in every way. Unbelievable.

This past week we had block exams in each class. Under normal circumstances, the week comes and goes and I usually don't worry too much. I just let things happen, let the pieces fall as they may, and I come out on the other end alive, happy, and feeling good. Not the case with this past week.

Usually I am in bed by 10 or 11 the night before a test. Usually I watch a movie to relax or iron some clothes -- one of my favorite pastimes. Usually I get up tired, but able to refresh myself on the last few details before the test. But this week was different.

I found myself not being able to learn the material to my satisfaction for the first time since I began medical school. Sure, it's always been hard, and this week was hard as well. But something was different. I simply could not get the material in my head quick enough and found myself cramming the night before -- a very unpleasant feeling. I tried to go to bed at 3:30 am each night and get up at 5:00 am. Bad idea. I usually could not do it, and ended up getting up at about 6:30 am instead, with no energy, no knowledge of the subject, and feeling like a fish out of water.

I was hoping the week would get better, but let me assure you it did not. I just stayed at the same level of fear.

I thought about the saying, "This too, will pass," and I found myself thinking about it time and time again throughout the week, hoping it to be true. And you know what, the saying is true. The week is over, and tomorrow is another day.

I don't know how I did on my tests, but I do know this -- I start over tomorrow, and a new journey begins. This too, will pass. Indeed.