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Hospital Life and Personal Life Are "Parallel Universes"
Kristen Heinan -- It’s hard to let go. I’m constantly wondering how my little friend is doing (from my last post). I am in Wisconsin at the moment, for a family wedding, so I have no idea what's going on back at the hospital. Now I have a few precious moments on dad's sacred laptop (it only took the better part of an hour and a half to wrest him from it) and I've tried to email a couple of the residents that I know to see if they've heard anything. I have dreamed that she did well, and I've also had nightmares that she did poorly.
The "multiple universes" theory circulating around the physics world is true as far as I'm concerned. How many, many different realities are present on this one day. Somewhere, someone is being born. Somewhere someone is dying. Somewhere someone is celebrating an achievement, someone regretting a loss.
As I passed the time, captive on airplanes on my way out here yesterday, I felt such incongruity between all the realities of the world, such oblivion that we all have for one another's circumstances. Here I was, flying out to be with family for the joyous event of a wedding, with all the mad-happy flurry of excitement and anticipation appropriately lavished around the event.
And then back at the hospital, there is my little friend and her family. She is probably still sedated, or at least was yesterday, face still puffy, head bandaged up, little body entangled in the wires of tireless monitors and the tubes of the all important "ins and outs." A vigil at her bedside. How many tears, a mother's Holy Water shed? Has she asked for mommy or daddy or grandma yet? How is her breathing? How is her swelling? Is she off the vent? How much of that manxome foe did they carve out? Is there any cerebellum left? Do we know the pathology of that hideous invader yet? What next?
And in another PICU bed, did my other fearsome fighter manage to get off the vent? Did he successfully thwart his impending infections? Can the formerly basketball-playing, bike-riding, dog-and-cat-loving young teenager manage to move his fingers? Might he soon be headed to rehab to learn how to use a wheelchair? And his poor parents, have they begun to recover from their shock? Can they manage a few moments to feel happiness again?
Sorry, I babble on... But now I must go out "bumming" with family members, and rejoin our current reality of the happiness and joyousness of new, true love... (my cousin and her fiancé ARE cute together!)
October 31, 2006 | Permalink
Comments
Yeah, I can totally relate to parallell universes. I work in a hospital as a patient transporter and I come home sometimes with thoughts and concerns over the patients that were in pain or the patients that were hard to leave still going through my mind. Has patient A.'s right arm still hurting from it being moved around for the chest XR? Has patient C's stomach cramps gone away yet? Did patient D. have any more trouble breathing?
I'll be at a dinner with my mom and grandma or shopping and suddenly I'll see someone that reminds me of a patient in the hospital and instantly, I'm back at the hospital, back taking them to an exam, and I leave that world of 'normalcy.' People will say, "Stop worrying about these patients!" or "You'll be a wreck if you're still like this in your third year of medical school!" but honestly, you're right. We invest so much of our minds and hearts with our patients that they are a part of us, just as our world of family, friends, faith communites, etc. is already a part. Hope that makes sense.
Posted by: Ksuther | Oct 31, 2006 8:33:28 PM
SO MANY EPIPHANIES OUT THERE....IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN
AN EQUILIBRIUN THAT GOES WAY BEYOND OUR OWN
"IT'S ALL ABOUT ME" PERCEPTIONS - UNQUOTE....LISTEN TO THOSE WHO ARE PREDISPOSITIONED TO HEAR THE CRIES OF OTHERS........." MOM
Posted by: wendy hyatt | Nov 7, 2006 3:22:24 PM
what about the paradox of emotions. I know alot of physicians who are emotionless, in the hospitals and in all of their personal relationships.
Posted by: tara | Nov 8, 2006 1:52:49 PM
Hospital and personal life are totally parallel universes. I have the same experieince with the author about a life as a physician. Although, i am from a tiny island with a smaller population but things are similar when it comes to our personal and hospital life. Thinking about going off the next day after a long night of on call, and yet your work at the hospital still calling for you to stay another 30minutes to 1 hour to do something for your sick patient. What about going off for a family gathering after on call and youre sitting there in the gathering wondering whats going on in the hospital with your patient that you have just handed over to the next on call. There are times that i have to stop and say, there will be many more gatherings next month or next year to attend but today i just have to be around the hospital to carry out my duties as a physician for my patients..thinking, "i owe it to them". Thats reality, life in the hospital is a demanding one and it takes a lot of sacrifices. As i can remember now one of my consultants in Pediatrics is single and in his 50's, telling the medical students, "i cannot be a good father if i am always at the hospital, and i cant also be a good pediatrician if i am always home"-thats his answer when he was asked why he is not married. This is true!
Posted by: B Muasau | Nov 16, 2006 4:10:33 PM
Hi . I agree that hospital life and personal life is a 'parallel universe'.For example , if you've had a busy call and somebody died on your call day and the next day you've already planned to take a leave..then you know that you're going to get a 'sad' leave as you'll keep on remembering the events during the incidence of your patient dying and when you've come back from the leave , you know that you're going to get a scold from your specialist or consultant for what ever that you've might done wrong in managing the patient.
Actually, I'm a mother of 2 kids and is now doing pediatrics .I know that I'm not such an excellent mother, wife and medical officer as you just don't know how to divide a balance attention to your husband , your kids most of all your carrier or studies.It really is a tough job being a doctor. It's the most selfish job if you really ask me. But why do I choose to become a doctor. It's because probably that's the only thing that I can serve to the people who's in need.In today's world, people are really pacing to become the best out of the best until they just don't know how to stop and see the people around them who's in need.
Posted by: Miss Abd.Rahman | Jan 6, 2007 2:01:51 AM
