Hoping for an Identity

Kendra Campbell -- My world is very bizarre. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in a very small town on a small island in the Caribbean. The country is not very developed. The closest grocery store to me is not what I would actually call a grocery store. There are no fast food restaurants (except for a Subway on campus). There is no Starbucks or Target or Barnes and Nobles. I live on the top of a trail, surrounded by other med students, cows, goats, and the occasional chicken. I don’t have a car, a dishwasher, a toaster, a stereo, or really much of anything besides my laptop. These are all things I once owned.

Don’t get me wrong; I really do love living minimally. It’s a refreshing change from how I once lived in the States (not that I lived in excess, but I definitely had a lot more). But there are times when all I want to do is go out to a nice sushi restaurant, or go see a movie at a theatre, or play some billiards at the local pool hall.

I also miss my friends and family. I haven’t seen them in about six months. I want to be able to call up a friend and have dinner with them, or go to my parents’ farm and drink good coffee in the garden.

Because I live in such an isolated area, with nothing but med students as far as the eye can see, I don’t really ever feel like a med student. It’s difficult to explain, but imagine if the only people you knew were med students or doctors. You’d never form a real identity. You’d just be like everyone else.

I’m wondering how different things will be when I come back to the States in a few months. I’ll be finishing my third and fourth years of med school in U.S. hospitals. That means I’ll be living in the “real world” again. I’ll be able to see my friends, drink Starbucks coffee, and perhaps I’ll even get my old car to work again.

But most importantly, I’ll suddenly be a med student surrounded by thousands of other people who have nothing to do with med school. I’m hoping that I’ll actually be able to form some type of identity. I’ll be different. I’ll be able to taste life on the other side.

I know that I will miss this island for so many reasons. The beauty all around me here is magnificent. And I’ll miss not having a car, or a toaster, or 5,000 different restaurant options. (Hey, at least here you never have to choose where you’re going to eat!) I guess I have somewhat mixed feelings about everything. I want to step back into reality, but at the same time, I know that I’m going to miss my little piece of paradise here.

I’m looking forward to having an actual identity, though. At least I’m hoping that is what will happen. I might find out that I’m just as confused surrounded by lawyers and politicians and police officers as I am surrounded by hundreds of med students everyday. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.